The Buehler Buzz

{watch dumb and dumber do up their dwelling}

Category: Kitchen

From the land of two dishwashers

Subtitle: Why no, owning two dishwashers has NOT gotten old at any point in time during the last 5 months!

And folks, here we are. Five months since the last update. Not dead, just burned out.  We officially passed the FOUR-YEAR mark of home ownership.  Which means we’ve officially been renovating this place longer than I went to college.  (Yeah, bet you didn’t think this idiot made it out in four years, did ya. Joke’s on you… I TOTALLY DID.)

So, yeah, of course we’re not done with the kitchen.  But I have to say, it is looking fucking amazing.  And this definitely deserves the swearing qualifier because who are we with this kitchen?!  Fake ballers, that’s who.

In lieu of like, you know, “good” or “finished” or “staged” photos, how about just some of these:


{taken mid/near-to-end renovation}



{taken a bit further along, backsplash completed, pot filler installed}



{last weekend after finally installing the floating shelves and TV}

I mean, what?! Do you see that?!  It’s crazy awesome in there now.



This is how I know I’m winning at life



Yes friends – those are TWO dishwashers.




My mind is blown.  I am the luckiest person ever in the entire world.

Full on pictures of a 90% completed kitchen to come soon!


PS: Also, this is why one should ALWAYS marry a former appliance salesman.  Because those gifts just keep on coming, and coming, and coming, and coming…

Can you tell what was happening here?

If you guessed “painting the kitchen ceiling for three hours while drinking beer and feeling slightly crazy for looking upwards for so long, then trying to capture said feeling for all time before jumping into the shower for 30 minutes in an attempt to unsuccessfully scrub off splattered primer that is covering at least half of my body”, then BINGO!

(While you can’t see it that well in this photo, my face and hair is liberally splattered with small flecks of paint too, not just those couple of larger smears you can see. Awesome.)

That is all.

Familial Treasures {part two}, Buddhas, and some drywall

Betcha thought I’d never actually get to part two, didn’t you?  Yeah, well, so did I.  What a surprise I am to myself recently. I’ve even been participating in…


(wait for it)







(I’m pretty sure that deserves all caps because my idea of manual labor usually includes pointing out exactly where those piles of 2×4’s need to be moved or pointing out exactly where those bags of garbage need to be moved or pointing out exactly where that huge armoire needs to be moved or pointing out exactly where that pile of plaster drywall needs to be moved or pointing out the sections of nails you forgot to remove from the studs.  While holding my martini. {Or box of wine, we’ve gotten way too cheap over here for my regular martinis.})


But my laboring is a story for another day.


Today I brag about some more goodies I managed to wrestle from my sisters in the parental purge.


1. Aunt Spee’s secretary

2. Dog lamp

3. ART!


First up, Aunt Spee’s secretary.  Who is Aunt Spee?  Dad’s mother’s first cousin.  Married to Uncle Bill Kausmann.  It’s from the 1920’s; check it out:


Look at these details!






It’s in our foyer by the living room, and this is where I usually sit and work now… when the house isn’t torn up.  So, not too often.  YET. But it’s fabulous, no?


Next we have the dog lamp.  From Red Oaks in Long Grove, circa 1976.  Lived in the music room in our Missouri house, in the built-in’s in the living rooms in the Deerfield houses, and has spent time on desks, kitchens, bathrooms, you name it.  (It’s been EVERYWHERE, per Johnnie Gail.)  Now, it’s in our study:




And last but not least, art.  Ah, art.  How I love thee.  Can a house ever get too much?  The Wagner/Buehler answer is, of course, hell no!

Check out this gallery wall in the library:




Up there, we have grandparents, great-grandparents, moms, dads, sisters, wedding photos, diplomas, masks, whistles from Peru, backscratchers, bronze plaques, ink drawings by mommy, shoe prints, mongoloid Shakespeare, and a Modigliani print.  {Pay no attention to the scary desk.  You can’t see it.}




Trust me when I tell you it just feels good in person.

And finally, I give you… BUDDHAS!

It’s almost getting out of control, except that it’s still super sweet.  I definitely see more in my future, oh yes, there will be more.

That will be all today.  Except, please send good vibes and continued luck on the current project:




{Why yes, that IS our kitchen right now.}

{What?  Gutted?  Why yes, the kitchen IS gutted right now.  We just got drywall on Sunday.  We’ve also had to reinforce all of the joists, reinforce a bunch of the studs, add a huge header, rewire the entire kitchen, add two more water lines, switch out the fluorescent lighting, and add approximately 87 outlets.  Because I like electricity.  Everywhere.}

{What?  Taking a long time?  Why yes, it is, hence the computer silence over here.  And here’s the long story about the manual labor – I’ve been doing it in the kitchen.  I’m practically a bodybuilder at this point.  A bodybuilder who drinks a lot of beer.  It’s my new thing.  Beer + manual labor = silly Lizzie.}

{What?  Why yes, this has been going on for over 2 months which means that we ARE nearing the end.  Maybe. You can never tell around here.}

{What?  Why yes, it IS GOING TO BE FUCKING AMAZING. Just wait and see!}



Bathroom gut (part four)

Alternate title: Extreme Psychosis Exemplified Coupled with Bathroom Gut Part Four (ty-five, because it feels like it’s been going on that long, doesn’t it?)

Where were we?  Oh yes – laying hardwood floor, continuing bathroom renovations, and staining concrete floors.

First up, the bathroom is now looking especially close to finished – lookit:

{What?  That just looks like a papered-over wall?  Why yes, that’s because it IS a papered-over wall… marble wall.  You think I’m going to eff up my awesomely awesome totally radical marble while this spaz (myself) attempts to prime & paint a ceiling with my bad 5’2” self?  You’re just going to have to wait for final after pictures… or more likely in progress pictures, let’s get real.}

The serious good news is that we now just need some paint, a countertop, toilet, sink, pendant lighting, baseboard and trim installations and we’re calling this five month project donezo!

Next in our lineup, the hardwood floors, which are coming along, but honestly are nowhere near  completion.  We’ve managed to finish the foyer, hallway in front of the stairs, and hallway by the stereo.  See? (And yeah, you’re going to have to look PAST all of the shit your eyes want to focus on to see those gleaming beauties that are underneath the current extreme mess.)


Slow, but gorgeous, no?  We’re not going slow just because I keep having to take days off due to accidental alcoholic beverage poisoning that I may regularly give myself.  It’s the good ole snowball effect that has us creeping along this time.

Are you not familiar with how small items on your list, such as “lay hardwood floors in kitchen and dining room” gradually expand to “rip out pantry and desk, so we can put the floors under them like Mike Holmes told us to, then move the fridge so we can use the back door again” and then further explode to “we might as well expand these two doorways, rip out unneeded soffits, add actual overhead lighting to replace these fluorescent lights and make this wall a pony wall”?  Um, it goes exactly like I just wrote it, and looks a little like this:


Because these Buehlers love nothing more than taking a not-so-easy task and making it harder.

I know it probably doesn’t look like a huge opening to you guys, but we’re widening them by at least 6-10 inches, so they feel HUGE to us.  And those wider doorways are going to allow me to carry my plate of food AND bottle of wine into the living room without turning sideways to fit through my doorway.  YES.

PS: I’m still getting to the concrete floors… but what’s the fun in writing about a mongoloid contractor, burning acid and attempting to teach somebody the difference between “industrial look” and “boot prints” if there isn’t even a resolution to clear it all up at the end of the story?   NO FUN.  Stay tuned.