The Buehler Buzz

{watch dumb and dumber do up their dwelling}

Category: Kids

Familial Treasures {part one}

We’re still slowly coming down off of the bathroom high, hence the three-month hiatus.  I mean, write up changes that are going on here or hang out in my bathroom?  There’s practically no contest {especially since we’ve replenished the Poopouri, leaving the bathroom smelling delicious at ALL times}.

 

But life moves on, and things keep rolling over here!

 

As we gear up for the next big renovation, we’ve been relaxing and enjoying some familial heirlooms that were given to us recently.  I thought I’d have to pry some of these treasures out of my parents’ cold dead hands, but it turns out it only took a bit of hair pulling and some strong martinis!  {I wonder how many more of my perceived hardships I could cure with those antics?  I may be onto something here…}

 

Recent winnings include the following:

This buffet

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My dad bought this piece for my mom 30 year ago when they moved from their first house to their second house.  Their dining room needed an extra piece to fill out the space, and it’s been part of their set ever since.  I truly lucked out on this one; the rest of the set is staying in KCMO with the sistors and we won this by default.  Their dining room is too small – YES!  Of course, OUR dining room is too small, but the genius husband had the idea to use it as our entry piece and voila, perfection!

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Now what’s an entry piece without some styling, and what’s more styling than splashing your name everywhere?  Nothing.  That’s right.  So here’s to a tray with your name on it.  Just keeping in klassy.

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And that box hanging out on the other side?

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That’s another win, an old bread box that’s been around forever.  Johnnie Gail kept overflow papers in in.  And weird… I have overflow magazines in it.  Although sometimes I open it thinking I’m going to discover an old paper from 5th grade… I should probably hide fun stuff in there so I can treat myself with these ‘rediscoveries’ every once in awhile.

 

Across from the buffet is another Wagner favorite – this mirror has lived at the bottom of every main staircase in all my childhood homes.  {For those of you who are interested, that would be three.}  And while it’s not directly at the foot of our staircase, it’s at least by the front door.  Close enough, I say!

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Since there are few things in life I enjoy more than checking myself out… there really isn’t more to that explanation.  I do, Aaron does, probably the Lexster does, hence the crazy amount of mirrors in this house.  {Oh yeah, but I pretend they’re all about bouncing light around, so keep this self-obsession stuff to yourselves, okeedokee?}

 

And as it’s finally warm here and we’re nearing the end of the day, I’m off to grab some wine and download a new book so I can spend the next couple of hours hanging on my patio.  Familial treasures to be continued; part 2 to include a dope secretary, awesome dog lamp, and some excellent additions to our gallery wall.

 

Stay tuned!

-L

 PS: I have to brag a little about how the stairs and baseboards turned out.  ARB did an EXCELLENT job installing these all by his lonesome self.  Because he’s a hard worker.  And I’m the enforcer who talks a lot and drinks too much wine.  But look at these results, people.  FANTASTIC.

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PPS: You know all those people who use facebook to give updates about their kids that nobody cares about?  Welcome to my place on the internet where I’m going to do the same back to you people.

HI LEX! AREN’T YOU THE CUTEST DOGGIE IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD?!?!  OH YES YOU ARE!! MOMMY LOVES YOU!!

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Let’s hope that concludes my crazy for the day… but let’s not count on it, shall we?

Adios muchachos,

-L

Happy Halloween!

From Mr. Lex Luthor, dressed (of course) as Superman:

 

And from Anwar, Osama, and Muammar:

 

 

 

 

Yep, we went there.

-L

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh how I love picking up shit.

In my mind, this area was to be Aaron’s.  Now, I don’t know if I made up this conversation or if it actually happened, but in my memories we had this talk:

L: You’re going to pick up all the dog poop, right?

A: Yeah, sure.

L: Good, because I do NOT do poop.

A: Okay, honey!

See what a lovely conversation that was?  And until this morning, I’ve managed to go an entire month with only having to grab the poop up outside once.  Score!

Until this morning.

Because you know what happens when your mate has to leave early in the morning after the dog only goes pee outside and you have to get into the shower so you leave Lex downstairs by himself for 20  minutes outside of his crate?

A HUGE PILE OF SHIT shows up in the dining room corner.

On the (used-to-be-white-40-years-ago) carpet.

Shouts of “Gross!”, “Damnit, Lex!”, and at least four minutes of dry-heaving followed while I layered 3 bags over my hands to pick it up and then cleaned the carpet.

Standard poodle

It could’ve been worse I guess – at least he didn’t try to eat it.

-L

A few updates…

1.  This guy?

Yeah, he’s still missing.  We’re waiting for either the stink of death to start emanating from somewhere weird, or for Lex to go crazy because he finds a hole to the outside that Alvin’s been using as his own personal entrance.

2.  This guy?

Totally took a dump in his new crate this morning.  Apparently it’s our fault because we got him a new HUMONGOUS crate and if there’s room to chill at one end and do your business at the other, they will.  Things you’d think we’d have learned BEFORE getting the dog.  Must have missed that Cesar tip… or (far likelier scenario) had consumed too much wine while reading that passage, thus damaging my recall skills.  Drat.  Think we got mad?

Nah.

3.  This guy?

Is how we’ve had to jerry-rig our toilet seat for the last year.  See this toilet bowl, how it actually curves down around the edges, thereby forcing the user to completely strain the bolts holding the seat onto the bowl if you shift your weight to one side while wiping?  
Yep, we purchased SIX new toilet seats before we realized this little quirk on the toilet.  The desire to continue paying our mortgage has forced us to resort to pieces of MDF glued onto the toilet seat.  Hey, I’ve said it before – we’re proud hoopies.  Because this fix is FREE.  And it’s fun to answer this question every time a male uses your bathroom, “What the eff is going on in your toilet, dudes?!”

4. These guys?

Totally meant to finally clean out the hoopie pile in the back of the house, switch the garage bays and mow our grass this weekend.  But we played with him instead:

We’re hoping we get our mojo back for the house projects soon, but we’ve been far too busy continually congratulating ourselves on our awesome dog… shiteating and poopfactory traits notwithstanding, of course.

Later taters,
-L

Say hi to the newest Buehler!

Welcoming… Alexander Luthor Buehler, henceforth referred to as Lex.  (If he ever learns his name, that is.  I mean jeez, I thought poodles were supposed to be geniuses.  It’s been 3 whole days and all he’s learned to do is cry by the back door to be let outside when he has to pee, found the squeaky spots on all his new toys, and sit on command.  What a dummy.)  A black standard poodle, he’ll eventually be about 75 pounds, but at 2 months old and 12 pounds he looks like this right now:

Having been puppy owners for quite some time now, (what? It’s been a whole 72 hours) we’ve found out a few things about ourselves that are proving to be exactly the opposite of how we always thought we’d react.  I’ve been reading the puppy books and relaying the information to Aaron, and we thought we were prepared for most puppy-related things.  See, usually I’m the planner and the hardass, and Aaron is the “let’s wing it!” guy and the softie.  At least, in our heads those are our family roles; throw a puppy into the mix and all of a sudden we’re switching it up.

For instance – all day Saturday (we brought him home Saturday morning), I thought he was going to die at any moment.  Seriously.  I kept asking my mom questions such as, “Mom, he hasn’t peed in TWO WHOLE HOURS! Is he going to die?!” and “Mom, he has the HICCUPS! Is he going to die?!” and “Mom, he hasn’t pooped ALL DAY! Is he going to die?!”.  Yeah, I was nervous.  Ridiculously and annoyingly nervous.  About EVERYTHING he was doing.

And Aaron?  Wants to immediately start hardcore training him.  As in, he has to sit before the leash goes on.  He has to sit and make eye contact with you before he gets his food.  We have to ignore him when he’s crying in his crate until he calms down.  He’s not allowed to come into ANY room of the house except the kitchen.  We have to clamp his mouth shut and say ‘No’ and then he must be given a chew toy immediately if he nibbles on anything.  Now, these are actually excellent tips for training and we talked about them before bringing Lex home and theoretically, I’m on board.

Until I see this face:

And then I just want to let him do anything he wants.  All the time.  Forever.  While giving him big kisses.  Turns out I’m a huge Gaywad.  With a capital G, like my mate.

There’s just one little thing that’s taking me totally by surprise… our genius, best-dog-in-the-whole-world, totally adorable pup has decided that he loves nothing more than to root around in our pachysandra and chew on pieces of SHIT that he finds hidden in it.  Seriously.  He even managed to swallow one last night before we could get it out of his mouth.

I might have to rethink this “genius” label…

Nah.

-L