The Buehler Buzz

{watch dumb and dumber do up their dwelling}

Category: House

5 months later…

And we once again have a toilet on the main floor!

Added bonus: it’s a steam toilet. Because we crossed the hot & cold lines. Because we’re smart. And we like to give ourselves facials while defecating.

Stay jealous,


Remember all those before pictures from last time?

Check out these completed targets of my painting obsession!

First up, the A box:

Don’t you just love what some white paint will do?  I don’t know why it constantly amazes me…

And here’s its home:

Why do we need a box with Aaron’s initial on it?  Because he REALLY wanted to keep his earphones on the entry table, and I REALLY didn’t want his disgusting earphones on display all the time.  Compromise!  (Plus the A helps him remember that it’s his box.  All for him.  And he doesn’t have to share it.  With anybody.  Except for our friend Alex.  Or anybody else that comes over that has a first or last name beginning with A.  But we don’t have any of those.  Not even Alex.  I just made that up.)

Now check out that updated Buddha head:

I just found chrome spray paint, and gee sus I am in love.  And yes, I know the picture is blurry.  I probably drank an entire bottle of wine the night before and probably had the shakes.

Here it is in its grouping, which incidentally has already grown by a new head since snapping this picture:

We Buehlers love Buddha heads.  Not sure why – maybe because we’re both drawn to Asian influences in our own ways?  Like the ways we see depicted at Crate & Barrel and TJMaxx?  That must be it.

Moving on, an ugly vessel that stayed ugly but at least it’s now all one color:

This thing lives in our pool table room, and I’ve yet to decide exactly what it’s actually going to be used for.

Probably these same placeholder sticks that have been in there for the past two years.  (Because at what point can you stop calling something temporary, right?  I’m pretty sure stuff that’s been in place for multiple years can no longer be considered “temporary” and has moved onto “lazy” at this point.)

Now we’re getting into the good stuff.

The dresser – look at this one!

Dudes, this shit took me at least 15 hours.  No joke.  Do you understand how much time that is for a dresser we bought 2 years ago for $12 at Goodwill?  (Aaron seriously thought it was going to live in our garage until we died.)  And while it involved a whole mess of spray paint, the steps actually went like this:
1. Woodfill
2. Spray prime with latex primer
3. 2nd coat with latex primer
4. More woodfill
5. Touch-up with spray primer
6. Rolled dresser with white paint
7. Found a whole mess of bleeding on the sides.  (Bleeding, for those of you that don’t have a permanently clawed hand due to painting, is when the wood color comes through the paint.  Very common with darker woods, and EXTREMELY FRUSTRATING when trying to eliminate.)
8. 3rd coat spray primer, latex
9. More regular paint, 2nd coat
11. Finally wised up and went with the spray primer in oil.  (This always does the trick.  And I know this.  It took me so long to fix it because I’m lazy (duh) and I HATE getting oil paint on my brushes.  So I half-assed fixing it until it occurred to me that I could buy oil primer (duh, again).  These fumes may really be starting to have an effect on my live brain cells…)
12. Caulk and some more woodfill
13. More regular paint, 3rd coat
14.  Decided this was as good as it’s going to get… for a while.  And that was pretty damn good.

Here it is in my pink basement:

I LOVE IT.  Best $12 I’ve ever spent.  It’s currently holding all of our games – which reminds me.  Who wants to come over for poker sometime soon?  Or Farkle?  I’ll kill you at both.

Last but not least, the pink chair goes back to white:

Here’s why this was fun – this transformation took a total of 8 CANS OF SPRAY PAINT.  2 cans of primer and 6 cans of paint.  My suggestion to anybody on the planet thinking of painting anything a medium to dark pink?  Make sure you want to live with it until you go blind.  Because getting rid of that color was the most time-consuming spray painting adventure I’ve ever experienced.  All to get a bland base back, which I’m pretty sure is the definition of the word unfulfilling.

However, it’s now on our awesomely fun front porch and looking groovy, so I should stop complaining:

More to come… lots of fun stuff happening at the house.  Really.  You’re going to be surprised when I tell you.  Or scared.


It’s not that I’ve been taking time off…

… it’s more like I’ve been too busy to write.  Too busy spray painting.  Usually in the garage.  With the doors closed.  While drinking wine.  (I’m kidding, of course.  That would be ridiculous – what if the paint got into my wine?!)

Spray painting stuff like this:


and this:


and this:


and this:


and this:


and this:

See what I mean? I’m probably still high right now. Which would explain the unicorn that’s been following me around this week…

Later taters,

PS: In case you’re high – these are all BEFORE pictures.

It’s another house anniversary!

TWO years in, and the house is still standing!  And we’re still married!  And we still love our house AND each other!

Once again, these are serious accomplishments.  Because this year we added even more pressure by switching up jobs a few times, having our leader sick for 6 months (in case you were wondering, yes, I’m the leader.  I mean come on – I’m loud and bossy and tell everybody what to do.  Of course I’m the leader), and gaining a family member.  (Hi Lex!  Sit!  High five!  Now, go put away your toys!  GOOD BOY, you fancy poodle!!)

I think this past year will be forever thought of as “the year of the spray paint” or “the year of the subfloors” or “the year of the micepocolypse”… of which we shall never refer again, come to think of it, so it shall never be known as that.  Ever.  Thank you.

Continuing what I’m making an annual tradition this very minute, our list of accomplishments this past year!

  1. Started painting all of the stairwell railings on the first floor, changing them from dark brown to gray
  2. Painted the linen closet
  3. Added shelving to the linen closet
  4. Covered the shelving in the linen closet with contact paper
  5. Wondered why in the hell I was spending so much time working on a closet nobody is ever going to see… (oh wait, here it is!)linen closet, march 2012
  6. Cleaned all the carpeting for the 14th time
  7. Discovered Liz was newly allergic to the entire house
  8. Ripped up all the carpet in the foyer and hallway, exposing some pretty sweet-looking 50’s hardwood.  But wait, what the heck are those huge sheets of plywood in front of the stairs and the stereo cabinet?!
  9. Ripped up all the carpet in the living room, exposing some pretty sweet-looking cement subfloors.  But wait, who murdered somebody in that corner, leaving that awesome stain?!living room
  10. Ripped up all the carpet in the dining room, exposing some pretty sweet-looking mixtures of both cement and plywood subfloors.  But wait, um, what, why both?!
  11. Continued painting the stairwell railings
  12. Began Liz’s love affair with spray paint by painting some inherited end tables for the basement
  13. Spray painted inherited bar stools for the basement
  14. Spray painted inherited chairs for the game table in the basement
  15. Spray painted inherited lamps in basement
  16. Seriously considered spray painting “HOOPIE PILE” above the hoopie pile before I realized I was high on spray paint
  17. Disbanded the hoopie pile.  (Note: This was a huge win for Johnnie Gail, who was feeling continually embarrassed by her daughter’s ridiculous acceptance of the pile of trash she allowed to live stacked up against the back of her house for close to a year.  Note 2: This was probably also a win for all of those paying members of the country club who had to look at said hoopie pile for close to a year as they golfed on by our house.  Suckers!)
  18. Dyed the outdoor furniture cushions in an attempt to save them for another season
  19. Patted myself on the back for a stellar dye job
  20. Spray painted inherited outdoor side tables
  21. Purchased a rug for the basement in an attempt to cover the moldy, I mean ugly, linoleum tiles
  22. Killed all the mold by soaking the basement floor in bleach
  23. Got high off bleach fumes
  24. Retrofitted the attic to a walk-in shoe and bag paradise for Liz
  25. Continued painting the stairwell railings
  26. Discovered the most totally tubular antique ballerina lamp for the first floor bathroom
  27. Painted the vanity in the first floor bathroom
  28. Painted the walls in the first floor bathroom
  29. Changed the pulls in the first floor bathroom
  30. Amazed myself again at how awesome I am at how much a little paint can update a roomfirst floor bathroom
  31. Finally found a great piece of artwork for above the fireplace
  32. Revamped the layout of the living room
  33. Brought up the rug from the basement for the living room
  34. Broke the acrylic lamp in the living room
  35. Found an inherited lamp to replace the acrylic lamp in the living room.  (At least, until we get around to fixing the acrylic lamp.  So, 6 years maybe?)living room
  36. Painted the wall of the basement gray
  37. Hated the gray wall in the basement
  38. Revamped the layout of the purple room
  39. Changed up the desk in the purple room… to an actual desk
  40. Finished painting the purple room
  41. Painted out the soffit in the purple room
  42. Painted out the ceiling under the soffit in the purple room
  43. Ripped up the carpet in the purple room
  44. Began painting out the bookcases in the purple room
  45. Realized I love having a room in my house referred to as “the purple room” by everybody that’s ever been there
  46. Continued painting the stairwell railings
  47. Moved the most totally tubular antique ballerina lamp to the black & white room
  48. Finished painting the black & white room
  49. Ripped up the carpet in the black & white room
  50. Revamped the layout of the black & white room
  51. Continued painting the stairwell railings
  52. Revamped inherited bedroom dressers by painting the drawers and adding new pullsdressers
  53. Bought a new fridge
  54. Lost use of back door due to enormous size of new fridge
  55. Made plans to swap fridge and desk areas in kitchen to regain use of back door
  56. Painted back door black
  57. Painted kitchen windows black
  58. Spray painted inherited small papasan chairs in living room
  59. Spray painted corner end table in living room
  60. Spray painted inherited sofa table in living room
  61. Spay painted inherited lamps in black & white room
  62. Hallucinated some amazing animal conglomerations in the backyard… while high on spray paint
  63. Excitedly inherited some good friends unwanted fabulous furniture
  64. Painted the wall of the basement pink
  65. Painted front door and window turquoisefront door
  66. Cleaned out the garage again… allowing us to actually get a car in
  67. Cleaned out the boiler room again… allowing us to usually find our tools
  68. Spray painted some office supplies
  69. Spray painted some animal sculptures (Can you use the word “sculpture” when referring to plastic and/or clay animals picked up a Walmart?)
  70. Spray painted a bedside table for the master bedroom
  71. (Come on, I just need four more items to round it out to a sweet 75 for the year…)
  72. Organized entire bar area in basement
  73. Got a new laundry set that does NOT stain my white clothes yellow
  74. Designated myself as the MOST WONDERFUL SPRAY PAINTER OF THE WORLD
  75. Sat back and enjoyed ourselves!


Wow!  We actually accomplished way more than I thought we had when I started writing this… but I’m probably still high on spray paint (did I go overboard on the spray paint theme of this post, or what?  I think it’s because I killed too many brain cells… by inhaling spray paint fumes. And I’m back in the game!).


Wanna see how I spend my free evenings?


When it’s gorgeous outside and there’s nothing on TV, I plant myself here:

patio, table, lantern, pillows

Facing this landscape:

golf course, patio, spring

And either have some wine while I read a book or a magazine (98% of the time) or bring out my computer with me and start exploring.


Check out what I ended up doing the other night during a computer adventure:

floor plan, house layout,

Heck yeah – floor plan!  It’s fairly accurate, too, as I actually spent a couple hours running from room to room and measuring while attempting to figure out just how thick the interior walls were.  I never did get that quite under control… because seriously, who cares about that?  Not I!  First floor is pretty complete (I completely crapped out by the time I got to ‘furnishing’ the hallway and dining room), basement and 2nd floor have not even been attempted yet.  All in good time, my pretty…


So here it is, for all none of you that haven’t already been to my house.  I’m thinking this will function as a “before” picture of sorts.  You know, so I can remind myself in 40 years how the house looked for the first 20 years we owned it.  (Insert sounds of guffawing in hilarity here.)  Get it?  Because the pace we’re moving is so ridiculously slow that it will still look like this for another 18 YEARS.  Which I’m fine with, just to set the record straight – what else would I do in my free time if I couldn’t spend it thinking up new ways to drive Aaron crazy with house ideas?


Besides, why wouldn’t I want to just chill out and enjoy it all when the usually frozen tundra that is normal for Chicagoland in March is currently busting out with this splendidness?

front door, spring

Yeah, that’s my front door.  In MARCH.  Here’s a full-frontal view, minus any boobies that you’d normally see after googling “full-frontal view”:

biltmore, spring, front view

Here’s to global warming!


PS: I stand corrected – googling “full-frontal view” actually pulls up some 2002 movie starring David Duchovny and Catherine Keener.  Who knew?!